New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize