you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
