Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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