you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize