I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
As shirtless as possible
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
