I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
