Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize