last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
