i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
