God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
