Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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