Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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