I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
