Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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