I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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