I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
