I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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