The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
