8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
