so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
