do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize