I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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