I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
