somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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