I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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