i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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