Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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