so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
