and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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