i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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