I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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