We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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