it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
