wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
