It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
