So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
