I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
