Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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