So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
