Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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