A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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