whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
