do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
