I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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