first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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