you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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