i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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