Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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