the condom got lost in my hair
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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