I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
