I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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