is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
