I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
