the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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