you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
