there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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