Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
