Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So apparently I’m into choking now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
