we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
