she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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