Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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