i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
