I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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