You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
