found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
