Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
