I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
