We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
