even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
