4 words: hood of his car
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
