When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
